Who Has Stress Today ?

I seem to have picked a particularly bad week to post my eating habits. Are all weeks the same as this ? I honestly can't remember. I thought I ate more healthily than this. The truth is we're having friction with our resident teenager. My daughter is an angel. She is thoughtful, fun , mature and kind beyond her years, gifted at school, and a pleasure to have in the house. I am VERY proud of her. But occasionally a little devil who I think is called Hormones comes to stay with her. At these times we spark off each other and neither of us can seem to say anything right, and looks - don't even think about looking at each other !!! I know everyone goes through it, but sometimes it gets unbearable. That's what this week has been like so far. Tomorrow's always another day and I just can't wait for things to settle down again !! Unfortunately it is impacting on how I cope and what I eat, and how much energy I have to prepare and plan food choices. How do others cope because I'm sure I'm not alone. I don't usually talk about it because I think I'm being disloyal, but it's not. It's just normal life. I'm reassured when I talk to others and feel a lot better when they soothe me with similar experiences they have had. It's so much easier to be open and let people help but I still feel this tug of fearing I am disloyal. Isn't life a dance ? Offsetting our own best interests and those of the ones we love the most ? I'm actually a very private person which everyone who knows me would confirm, and I'm a little frightened of spilling too much to the whole world thinking I'm in the privacy of my sitting room - just me and a keyboard. How do you strike a balance of connection with others whilst protecting the privacy of those nearest you who you share your life with ?

Instant De-stresser
This technique - I collect these things and am always grateful for new ones - was given to me by Steve my Macmillan Nurse.

Breathe. It's a breathing exercise. Breathe in through your nose . On the exhalation pay attention to what is outside your body -

• it can be the feel of the chair you're sitting on, the heat of the sun, the coolness of the breeze, or the proximity of a loved one.
• the sound of birds singing or conversation in another part of the room or any sound you can perceive
• the smell of hyacinths, lilies, or coffee - whatever you notice
• the sight of your surroundings could be brought into sharp focus- colour, texture,light and shade.
• the taste and mouth feel of something, perhaps your cup of tea or a mint, in your mouth.

Concentrate on just one sense but give it your full attention. The theory behind it is that it overrides your brain and all the worries it is concentrating on. You overload it, and by multitasking you are forced to choose what you concentrate on. It's powerful stuff and it works. I've tried it , and strangely, I really quite enjoy the experience. It feels wonderful because you concentrate on something pleasurable ( though if you have a bad taste in your mouth it'll either make your perception of it worse, or still work, but be more a masochistic pleasure !! I don't know, and I don't feel any urge to try ! ) It is a sensuous experience and can feel like quite a luxury at a time when you may need that most. Try it out yourself and let me know about your experience . I think of it as quite akin to a gratitude journal ,but unlike a journal , as it's title implies, it's instant, takes only a moment and requires no office supplies or paraphernalia, and can be done anywhere at all. You can do it as unobtrusively as the occasion warrants, so as long as you remember it you can use it in any situation. The trick is to remember these techniques at the times of stress when you most need them. I admit that there are occasions when they would work, but my mind is elsewhere and the help is temporarily unavailable. But for when you do connect with the storeroom in your mind these techniques are invaluable, or so I have found.

Tuesday / Wednesday

I'm having a difficult week and my eating plan isn't quite going to plan. However, I've committed to this and I'm determined to be truthful. After all, how else could this blog be of use to motivate me if I cheat when I write on it ? So here's my days eating for the past two days and my sorry excuses.

Tuesday

• breakfast :- I didn't have breakfast. My weaselly excuse ? Chris, my husband had accidentally put on two different suits before leaving the house - the jacket of one and the trousers of another. Having an important meeting in the afternoon, he couldn't be seen in this odd combo and asked if I could meet him halfway and deliver his jacket. He's a busy man who works hard to fund my drug habit ( essiac, vitamins, enzymes, vegetables for juices, and other weird and wonderful potions ! ) and I offered to go into Leeds. However, he was happy to meet me half way, but it still threw my morning schedule out and I did without my breakfast of champions.
• lunch :- I had a GREAT, FANTASTIC, LIFE ENHANCING lunch at my friend Rosie's. She went to loads of trouble and made me and Sue, her sister in law and my new friend a three course lunch which was out of this world and which I'd expect to get at the SAF Restaurant in London, which I've only heard about, or at any Michelin starred restaurant you could name. I am so Lucky to have Rosie cook for me and act as my mentor in all things raw. I took a photo, but will keep you waiting till I can figure out how to post it !!! Anyway, you're wondering what I had. We started with a cold tomato soup. This was followed by guacamole mousse in an aubergine pashmina (my description ), noodles (I can't remember the vegetables, but will ask Rosie ) coated in a wonderful sauce (who knows what secret ingredients were in there, just Rosie's wonderful alchemy of flavours based around avocado ) and salad. It was divine. For Dessert - what decadence ! we had raspberry cheesecake ( made with raw nuts ) and raspberry coulis adorned with pomegranate seeds. This was followed by gunpowder and ginger tea I think. It doesn't matter what's in Rosie's food it is always special and life giving. And very, very elegant. Are you drooling? I am just remembering it. I think this made up for not having breakfast and I probably enjoyed it more because I was hungry. And there was loads ! I'm ashamed to say I stuffed myself. If you're reading Rosie, Thank You. We had a great time, the three of us putting the world to rights and I couldn't have had a nicer afternoon.
• Dinner :- Not even close to how great lunch was. I had a little cooked wheat pasta - that's what I threw together for my family - with raw-ish pasta sauce and a large salad. Quick and easy and I did have a lot more salad.
• Juicing :- Sadly I didn't juice for the second day running because my morning schedule was unexpectedly changed.

Wednesday :-

• breakfast :- porridge with seeds, apricot kernals, cinnamon and apple.
• lunch :- OK. I admit it. I didn't have lunch. I stayed in all morning, firstly having an email argument with D&A, both mine and my daughters optician, about replacement lenses for Rosie. She's dropped, damaged, and I think lost her last pair of contact lenses and I needed her to have new ones - so that she can see at school. (she's also been in a dreadful mood lately and this could be contributing to that. Heaven knows I'm in a bad mood when I can't see !! ) It was akin to road rage ! Well, slight exaggeration ! But I wanted to make my feelings known - they wanted to charge me an exorbitant amount when I feel we're already paying a fortune yearly - £240 a year! Am I mad or is this a lot ? Is a replacement pair too much to ask ? Anyway I sent off a heated email. Then I saw my Macmillan nurse, Steve who is fantastic and I was calmed the moment he walked in the door. We chatted and I felt better - Oh and he gave me an INSTANT de-stresser and I'll post about it later. Anyway, when he left I got ready and went out without eating. Why did I rush out ? What sorry excuse have I got ? I went shopping. Retail therapy, except it wasn't really therapy. Rosie needed jeans for the weekend ( and a warm sweater but I'm not going into that ! Teenagers !) So I spent the afternoon hunting for a selection of jeans for her to try. Personal Shoppers do not have an easy job when they're shopping for the tastes of the fashionista's !!! I think they must earn every penny. I did manage to get two pairs out of the many I brought home which passed muster. And that, dear friends, is why I missed lunch.
• Dinner :- dinner was a fiasco. I was exhausted and there wasn't a great atmosphere in the house, so I comfort ate in every sense of the word. I wish I could lie and say I had raw pasta and salad, or even soup, but the truth is I had warm tomato bread from Morrisons supermarket - just out of the oven, and a piece of fish that I stuck in the oven, along with some organic peppers and cos lettuce. Very very easy, very very satisfying, but I can't honestly say it was particularly life giving, and couple that with stress and I have to admit it wasn't my best day.
• Juicing. Again no juicing. The carrots are rotting in the fridge ! So I can't say I don't have / can't afford the produce. Oh well Tomorrow is always another day.

What's the recipe today , Jim ?

There was a radio presenter called Jimmy Young on BBC radio 2 some years ago who used to have a recipe section and his catchphrase was.... "What's the recipe today, Jim." and it just popped into my head as I started this post. The plan is to record what I eat this week and see where I am with my healthy eating plan. So here goes :

Monday :-

• breakfast :- Porridge with fruit and seeds. No time to juice as my daughter missed the school bus and I had to take her in.
• lunch :- Hummus, salad, sweet chilli jam and olive sandwich on wholemeal bread. Possibly the best sandwich in the world !!! I spend Monday's at Harlow Carr learning how to garden and there is a little sandwich shop nearby who make The Best Sandwich I have ever had !! It's a treat and I don't have one every week (because of the chilli jam, and because if I'm organised I bring a salad I make myself ).
• dinner :- Mashed potato, peas, and prawns. I'm trying to eat more raw food, but I was in Waitrose trying to find organic peppers and thinking of what to have for supper, and just thought of this great simple recipe I used to make ages and ages ago - in another life! - I think I needed comfort food last night and it worked a treat. Anyone with teenagers will understand that once in a while a mother needs some comfort and if the way to get it is through a little mashed potato, then so be it.
• throughout the day I drank water and 'Vitalise' pukka tea, and took vitamin C.

I will keep posting an update this week and it might clarify what I'm doing and where I can improve. So keep watching this post as I'll edit it each day.

Oh, nearly forgot !! I went into the garden centre yesterday - lethal - and bought lots more packets of sprouting seeds to restock my fridge while the seeds are fresh in . I'll fill a few jars and soak some today to start them off. I also bought some more wheatgrass seeds, though there is a cheaper way - buy in bulk ! - so I can get them started off for when I use up the grass that's still growing. It's the forward planning that I find difficult. I lack concentration and just can't seem to think further ahead than a day or so. It just seems too much trouble for my poor head.

Some Interesting Podcasts

I have found some interesting podcasts on itunes which you can download free of charge. I download them onto my ipod and I can listen to them at any time and anywhere. I'll list some of my favourites here. They're in no particular order. There are others I subscribe to , but in honesty there just isn't enough time in the week to listen to them all.









TED Talks - TED stands for technology, entertainment, and design. There is both a video and an audio version and I subscribe to both. This is , in my humble opinion FANTASTIC !! I feel in touch with the world, and in a positive way. I don't read the papers or watch the news, because by and large it is so depressing. So this is a way of being informed about what's going on in the worlds of technology and design, and in a very positive educational way. Have a look if you haven't seen it yet. It's terrific.











Listen To The Lancet Oncology- a monthly podcast which has highlights of the current issue of the magazine. I did subscribe to The Lancet podcast, but found little that I wanted to listen to. I always read the 'podcast information' before listening so that I don't waste my time and so that I don't expose myself to something that is not beneficial.







All In The Mind - a podcast about the mental universe - the mind, brain and behaviour. This is a fascinating podcast by Natasha Mitchell for Australian radio, which focuses on the workings of the brain. I find it very positive and uplifting. It is amazing to learn how the body works and how strong our urge to live and survival skills are.







Dave Weekly Vodcast - This is a humorous and lighthearted weekly video podcast from Dave tv.







Learn To Meditate - From the Meditation Society of Australia







Raw Pirate Gourmet - I like this couple ! These are video shorts and I would call it raw food for idiots - me being the idiot ! They make it easy and do-able, and inviting, and I feel that I can do what they've shown me.







The Renegade Health Show - This is another video podcast that is presented by an enthusiastic young couple who introduce you to the raw eating lifestyle. It has a home made feel, but what they lack in polish they more than make up for in enthusiasm and passion.







Rawkin Radio- Revvell P Revati hosts this podcast where she interviews people who have adopted the raw eating lifestyle. There are some really interesting speakers, and it is a motivational and inspiring podcast for times when I forget that there are people in the world who eat this way.







Sotheby's Private View - a video podcast on the visual arts because man does not live by bread alone !







Universal Everything/ Forever/ Feed- an installation artwork from the Victoria and Albert Museum . Effectively a screen saver, but pretty and relaxing to have on screen.







We Like It Raw - There's an interview with Kris Carr, cancer survivor, and other interviews, again on the raw eating lifestyle.





Meditation - Overcoming Stress - a podcast by Roy Masters





Meditation Oasis - by Mary and Richard Maddux





Personal Growth Podcast - which has excerpts from various classic and contemporary self development audio books.





Stand Up Comedy -





Jonathan Ross -





Best Of Chris Moyles -




Steve Wright In The Afternoon -





Ultrawellness TV - Your Guide To Lifelong Vibrant Health And Vitality -





There are many more - many on science and humour, and many other subjects. It's amazing how much information is freely available on itunes.

A Day out With Vicky

Face Care - The Natural Way
I had a really great day yesterday. My friend and I went on a day course to Harlow Carr Gardens run by Siobhan and Rob from Pringle and Fairweather called "Face Care - The Gentle Way". It was all about making your own face creams and cleansers using natural products. It was terrific, and I made loads of potions. I made two different cleansers - one for me and one for my daughter (if she can be persuaded to try it !). I also made a facial scrub. I don't use scrubs myself, but it may come in handy for my gardening hands later this year. Then I made a green tea toner - I'm going to use it in a spray bottle for when my hot flushes overcome me in the night ! After that we broke for lunch. In the afternoon we made a moisturizer. My first attempt wasn't too successful, but my second one turned out better. Perhaps I need to be a little more accurate in my measuring, and it's just a little tricky getting the oil and water to emulsify. I learned that they both need to be at between 70 - 80 degrees, and within about 5 degrees of each other. We finished by making a lip salve. What a day!! And I got to spend it with my friend. I would definitely do it again, though I might do some research beforehand on essential oils. Being sensitive about oestrogen, and as many plants contain phyto-oestrogens, I might try to find time to check on the oils that would be most appropriate for me. ( I didn't mention my condition as some people get a bit anxious about letting you use essential oils if you mention the C word - and what is life if it doesn't smell nice !?! Some people (who should know better !) do have dire fears of the hazards of some of these oils, whilst at the same time being perfectly happy pushing toxic chemotherapy agents at you !!I think you have to be guided by your own common sense and just do a bit of research.) Let's face it, there's going to be less chemicals in the lotions and potions I made than in anything you buy in the shops. And it was fun to make them.There were glass bottles and jars and tins available to decant and package our precious elixirs in, and I came away with a bagful of goodies. They're all nestling in my fridge at the moment. Rob and Siobhan couldn't have been friendlier or more helpful . There was a wide range - and I mean wide ! - of oils and essential oils to choose from and we all came away with a recipe booklet so that we can make them again at home. I love this kind of kitchen alchemy, and feel a lot more confident having been guided through it. I now smell sweetly of lavender, ylang- ylang and frankincense

Pringle and Fairweather are a Cumbrian based company and can be found at
http://www.pfskincare.co.uk/
They sell a range of hand creams, body butters, soaps, and bath products. All produced by hand, in small batches and with healthy skin in mind. They've come to making these products from a similar angle to myself and that really reassures and resonates with me.

The day wouldn't have been the same without Vicky. We had a girly day together and managed to catch up which isn't always easy. It's difficult finding time when we are both busy.But it was really nice to share the day with a friend. As I say, it was just a great day. I hope we do it again soon. I'll have to find something else to stimulate and excite us !


It's just struck me that you might like to know what I put in my magic potions, and I may need to refer back, so below is my aide memoire :

Stimulating Milk and Honey Scrub Cleanser :
ground almonds
dried goats milk
runny honey
Rosewater
Sweet almond oil
Ylang-Ylang and Geranium essential oils

Avocado and Aloe Vera Cleansing Oil :
Macadamia oil
Jojoba oil
Avocado oil
sweet almond oil
vitamin E oil
Aloe Vera
Vegetable Glycerin
Geranium, Frankincense, and Lavender essential oils
(someone in the group added chamomile essential oil and the cleanser turned a lovely shade of green )

Almond Scrub :
sweet almond oil
ground almonds
cider vinegar
distilled water
lavender essential oil ( palma rosa oil was also recommended)

Green Tea Toner :
green tea
honey
ylang-ylang essential oil

Super Hydrating Cream :
apricot kernel oil
olive oil
beeswax
borax
rosewater
aloe vera juice
vitamin E oil
rosewood, lavender, and frankincense essential oils

Serum for Mature Skins :
macadamia oil
rosehip oil
evening primrose oil
jojoba oil
borage seed oil
sandalwood, carrot seed, lavender and vitamin E essential oils

Lip Balm / Rescue Salve :
cocoa butter
beeswax
sweet almond oil
hemp seed oil
caster oil

Wheatgrass Juice

Today my wheat grass was tall enough to be juiced. I got my scissors and gave it a little haircut, fed it through the juicer, and decanted it into my best crystal liquore glass. It looked pretty - an emerald green with a pretty foam on the top edges. The taste... the taste... There are no words in the English language to describe the taste. It is truly indescribable, and not in a good way. I added carrot juice to make it a little more palatable, and two carrots later I could indeed drink it. This drink is widely reputed to have profound health giving properties. It must be true, because no one would otherwise be persuaded to regularly imbibe it. I have grown LOADS of it !! At least I will be forced to continue juicing it to get rid of the stuff ! You might say it's an acquired taste, but I doubt that. It's two years since I've been juicing cabbage and broccoli, and whilst I'm used to it, and have learnt how to soften the flavour, I can't say I now crave the stuff. However, considering how many people swear by wheat or barleygrass juices, it must indeed be very good for you. It is packed full of antioxidants and chlorophyll which is incredibly similar to the blood plasma, or so I have read. It is regularly used at The Hippocrates Institute where I believe it is viewed as a mainstay of the cancer fighting regime. It's medicine, and medicine is often unpalatable. Whats more, the health giving properties are at their best within the first 15 minutes of pressing. Consequently I am getting medicine that is of a very high calibre, and that is generally unavailable on the N.H.S. The cost and inconvenience of obtaining it would be prohibitive. It also requires a special juicing machine, though there are inexpensive hand cranked models available for anyone who would like to give it a try and include it in their strategy. Basically it is a luxury and I intend to view it as such. It would cost a great deal to go and get it at a spa which is the only place I can think of that I would be able to find it. So whether it tastes good or not is irrelevant, it's good for me and it's a luxury. The grass doesn't have to die to give me this essence, but it must hurt a bit. I am grateful for it and will honour it's medicinal qualities each morning.





The Science

This is where I remind myself why this stuff is so good for me, and why I decided I should grow LOADS of it !!?!

• Oxygenating the Blood and Body and Cells

"When compared to a molecule of hemoglobin, the oxygen carrier in human blood, chlorophyll is almost identical. The major difference ... is that the nucleus of chlorophyll contains magnesium (Mg), whereas hemoglobin contains iron (Fe)"


The Hippocrates Diet and Health Programme by Ann Wigmore





Chlorophyll then is important in the oxygenation of the body. It has been established ( by Nobel prize winner Otto Warberg ) that cancer cells live anaerobically (in other words whereas our healthy cells are fuelled with oxygen, cancer cells, those unhealthy and confused cells, are fuelled by sugar fermentation and make no use of oxygen .) Most cancer regimes focus on re oxygenating the body through numerous methods - exercise, deep breathing, and eating oxygenating foods,wheatgrass being one of the better sources.

• Alkalising the Body

Wheatgrass also, in common with other vegetables and fruits is alkalising, and cancer prefers, and indeed creates its own alkaline environment. A shot of wheatgrass/barleygrass quickly alkalises and de-acidifies. This is important in creating an unfriendly environment for cancer ( Encouraging it to pack it's bags and go. ). What's more, as I am on Arimidex and Zoladex treatment, known to strip your bones of calcium, (I've read somewhere - can't remember exactly where at the present - that you can lose the equivalent of 7 years worth of post menopausal bone loss in ONE year if you are taking Arimidex!) it's really important to stay as alkaline as possible. If your body is acidic it will hunt for the mineral calcium to re balance and alkalise. Calcium is what your body uses to neutralise the acid. Where does your body store large amounts of calcium ? Yep, your BONES ! That's why you lose bone density. ( Incidentally, eating protein and carbohydrate push your body toward acidity - I'll post on this another time.) So being aware of how acidic / alkaline my body is figures high on my list.

• Maximising Nutrients

The nutrients contained in wheatgrass couldn't be obtained by eating it ( who would want to ?! ), but they are easily available and digestable in juice form.

• Creating a healing calming environment.

I have read recently in a magazine that simply growing wheatgrass beside your bed creates an environment conducive to sleep and that it will assist you in getting a good nights uninterrupted sleep. I haven't tried that yet, but will let you know. If it works I will be festooning my windowsills with the stuff, and will have to drink it till it's coming out of my ears.

Postscript :- 7th March

I've now juiced it a few times with organic apple and this makes a tremendous difference !! It's palatable, though I don't like the smell as I juice the grass. The apple is a luxury, and it truly transforms the drink. It helps that the apples ( from Tesco's at the moment ) are quite large and are very flavourful, but they are a help in my transition period. I drink out of a crystal wine glass, so the concentration is more dilute, but I'll work towards increasing the proportion of wheatgrass as I go on.

Pat Reeves, nutritional therapist

Visiting Pat was a motivating and valuable experience. She was all I could have hoped she'd be. I didn't know what to expect when I arranged to see her. All I really knew was that she had been successfully fighting cancer herself for thirty years and I had been looking for someone who fit that kind of description since I was diagnosed myself. It is difficult to find long term survivors to speak to in person. They seem to go to ground so to speak. And the complication is that whilst there are many people who know someone who has survived, there are so many different types and stages of cancer that your own survival means different things to each cancer patient. We all want to find someone who has had the same or worse than ourselves and has lived to tell the tale. That's where I look for hope. people who defy the oncologists dire scenario's. Pat ticked my boxes. Pat is dynamite wrapped in a petite body. What's more, she was incredibly generous with her time and advice. I count myself fortunate to have found her.

One of the areas that Pat understands is bone health, having fought cancer and osteoporosis herself. She suggested that I add exercise to my daily life, and not just any exercise, but resistance training ( with some kind of weight, even in the form of a can of beans. ) I was given a sheet with seven simple exercises that she herself started with and that should take no more than seven or eight minutes to do. I was instructed to do them two to three times a day. But the most valuable advice she gave was in how to view exercise, how to think of it in such a way that I would actually DO IT !! What was this great wisdom that Pat imparted ? Simplicity itself.

Think of exercise as you do food. You wouldn't think of eating on just Monday and Wednesday. Exercise as often as you eat.

That's it. Simple. I've not thought of it in this way before. I've always viewed it as tedious and time consuming, needing at least twenty minutes before I even start to get any benefit. So my plan is to do those exercises before breakfast and dinner. If I can also do them or something active around lunchtime so much the better. Associate exercises with food. Doesn't that make sense ? It sounds a little TOO easy ! We'll just have to see how I go on. I'll keep you posted. It's a bit like the concept of browsing as a way of eating ... little and often. I take vegetable juice and vitamin C this way( every three or four hours ), constantly replenishing my reserves. I just need to add these exercises to that routine. That is do-able! And with the days getting longer, I'll feel more enthusiastic about moving. I do seem to hibernate in the dark, cold, wet months. Roll on Spring and sunshine !!

It's just a pity that I came down with a bad cold as soon as I got home, and don't feel like doing much of anything. It's not quite as easy as it sounds !!! Still, I'm starting to pull out of it now, so as soon as I can breathe freely I'll be going for it

If you are interested, Pat's website can be found at http://www.foodalive.org/ She has a resource called ' Blessings For You ' which is really worth a read.