Wednesday, 26 August 2009


I have just spent a weekend ascending and I feel wonderful. Ascending is, I believe what you might also call meditating. It's about spending time with yourself, with your thoughts, and with your spiritual self. It's about spending time with a higher self. And it's about being aware of your life right now, in this moment. About really living rather than imagining you're living in the past or the future. I'm uncomfortable writing about it, because I'm not sure I know enough to write about it, but I'm writing about my own experience and I can't get that wrong.

I have had a weekend learning to ascend - the practice is called Ashayas Ascension and the website for more information is at

I met some wonderful people, ate good food, sat in a peaceful place, and I think had a very healing experience. I do a lot of things that I believe alter my body from the outside in - breathing in deeply and watching my diet to name but two. I also have practices where I try to heal myself from the inside out - using visualisation and relaxation techniques. I've already mentioned my mind pharmacy in a previous post. I have also visualised a dark cabin that I can enter where I give up my thoughts. I visualise a beautiful field with a seat below a tree where I can sit with my higher self and my guardian angel - where I can receive hugs and reassurance. I have created a house in my mind where all those who love me are and I can go and visit with them and swim in a pool of healing. Al these techniques require me to activate my imagination. The Ashayas Ascension differs from these visualisation techniques. It asks nothing of you other than you be present. It is a passive process. Or so it seems to me at this moment. I just sit, or recline, or even walk around and watch my thoughts. I don't even have to do that. I can just let them go. I am absolutely overwhelmed by the simplicity and ease of the technique. What I find so appealing is that it is Very positive in its approach. It is very loving and accepting. It is Very Kind and I am drawn to kindness like a moth to a flame. It's totally non-judgemental, and its accessible even with eyes open and moving around and interacting in the world.It doesn't require peace and quiet and a darkened room to be activated. I feel truly blessed that I have found it. What's more it's incredibly supportive. Once you've been on the first sphere course - the introduction and initial training - you can continue to go back and repeat the course as often as you like. There's plenty of support from the teachers, and the other course participants were all extra-ordinary people who shone with kindness. There were quite a few who had been ascending for ages . I did ask them the question - " why would you come back on the first sphere course if it works ? " and the reply was that "you learn something new each time , hear something different, hear something put across differently by a different teacher, possibly hear something that's been said before but that you weren't ready to hear the first time. Also, you get to spend time with really nice people, eat good food, and visit peoples homes and sit in lovely rooms " This was my second weekend, and I have to say that I now agree with these sentiments and will hopefully go on many more weekends myself. There's so much more to it than learning a technique, and there's power in meditating in groups.


I've just read the last entry I made - and didn't publish at the time. I was certainly in a dark place. Thankfully the scan showed no change - stability. Yes, yes, dormancy is the word that springs to mind, but there are seeds that lie dormant for thousands of years over in Egypt - and in other places too. So dormancy doesn't imply reawakening any time soon !

I haven't posted in ages. I've been in a dark place and I think I needed to try and find a way through. A way to live well even with cancer. I've explored a few avenues which I hope to share later and I've come back to blogging with a fresh perspective after a rest from thinking about cancer in such a negative way.

I once read a story that I can't remember accurately, but that I can remember the gist of and I'll share it here. A person ( lets say it's a he ) spent many years seeking enlightenment and the secret of life. He searched the world over but still couldn't find what he yearned for. In time he heard of a wise woman who lived in a cave at the top of the highest mountain. She held the secret, but she would not give it away easily. He set off to find her travelling a great distance and suffering many hardships before finding the cave. Inside he found a frail old woman and begged her for enlightenment. She refused, saying that she only aided those who truly knew what it was they searched for and who wanted it with all their being. He beseached her , telling her of his many travels and wanderings, of the hardships, deprivations and challenges which he had overcome, all in order to be enlightened. Again and again she refused until he eventually persuaded her and she agreed. He thanked her and had no sooner done so than she turned into a screaming monster with a club who shouted "NOW" and beat the club on the floor. He looked at what was in front of him stunned and then turned and ran out of the cave. Just as he emerged she appeared again, shouting "NOW" beating the club on the floor. As he ran down the mountain again and again she followed shouting "NOW", "NOW", "NOW". To the end of his days she accompanied him, every moment screaming "NOW" and banging her club on the ground.

I'm not really a story-teller and I wish I could remember where I read the story, but that's the gist, with my spin 0n it. The point is that the screaming harpy shouting "now" could be my cancer. A teacher reminding me that now is all there is. That fear is simply memory of what might have happened and anticipation of what might be. It is based on nothing but an idea, a thought. It's not based on what is. In this moment - today - I am well and healthy. People comment on how well I look. I even feel well ( though I do tire very easily ! ) If I concentrate on this moment then I know all is well and I am well.