It's been a while since I last blogged. Life's been full and busy, and it's sometimes difficult for me to get my computer to hook up to the internet. It's a temperamental thing, but then you could say that about me. Do computers echo your personality the way dogs are said to resemble their owners ? Nah !!! Too twilight zone to consider !

I've had a few thoughts of what to blog about, but have little time today, and would you believe, they have all left my head and it's now empty. But, the crackers !! I've posted a recipe for crackers which I tried out last night and they are a complete success, even if I do say so myself. They are delicious with a little hummus and I will be trying some different pate recipes shortly. Their thickness varies slightly, but I think that is just something that practice will improve. My husband has tried them and I think he found them very moreish. I had to warn him that they are not low calorie, being full of nuts and seeds and their oil. But it's great that they are a success. The tomato ones are good, though I might put more tomato in next time, and the rosemary ones are delicious. I think the turmeric idea is a good one , or perhaps saffron, to give another colour, otherwise they can all look the same. They do have a lovely rustic appeal. I've put them in some pretty glass storage jars and I'm very proud of them.

I'm juicing in greater quantities again. The produce just seems juicier, and I'm using leaves from my garden. The chard is doing really well and acts like spinach or cucumber in that it makes a smoother milder juice when mixed with broccoli, cabbage, etc. and it looks really striking in the beds.

I've been sprouting lots of seeds, and I'm growing wheatgrass again, and I like the juice with an apple. It just tastes like apple juice to me now. Maybe too much apple, or could it be that my taste buds are changing and adapting ? I am a total convert to micro greens. I'm growing sunflower and peashoots outside in seed trays and I'm growing them quite thickly. Aconbury Sprouts seem to sell them like this in trays, so I thought I'd try and grow them myself. I had some disasters with the pea sprouts ( they rotted before I ate them ), so I'm going with the shoots till I get my inclination back ( They stank and there was a gooey residue that got into the drainage pipe for my seed sprouter, so be warned and be vigilant if you're trying them.). I brought a few trays into my gardening group to show everyone, and I'm managing to keep the excitement I feel going.

The next might be too much information, but I'm spilling the beans anyway. I've been increasingly tired lately - and hungry for that matter. I gained a little weight and it all frightened me. So I've upped my game and I've started doing coffee enemas. Now when I first started having colonics ( there were just too many references to their benefits in my researches to ignore, so I just got over myself. ) Janet, my therapist, encouraged me to do these, as did my good friend Rosey ( sorry if I've spelt it wrong ) I tried, but found it time consuming and difficult to schedule in. I made the coffee, then waited hours for it to cool, and then the whole palaver of getting everything organised in the bathroom seemed to take forever. And when people knew what I was doing they'd ask if it gave me more energy, and I had to say that "No, it didn't. " I couldn't feel any difference. And it was all very disappointing to think it made no difference when everyone expected it to. So I stopped . But I've recently started again and it's an entirely different story. I make the coffee on waking, when I make my Essiac tea. It's cool in 1 1/2 to 2 hours, or I can speed that up by putting the cafetiere in cold water. I have everything I need in the spare bedroom opposite the bathroom, including a pillow, and I make sure I bring my ipod ( I listen to the many interesting podcasts I can't resist downloading ) with me. Somehow it all seems painless and smooth and easy. What's more, I do get a burst of energy. Because I've noticed the difference in energy I feel it's worth the effort and I'm persevering with it. I don't have one every day, but who knows, perhaps that will come, after all I balked at first at all the juicing Gerson recommended and yet I made 1 3/4 litres yesterday ! I had a colonic recently and whilst in the past all has been well, this time Janet commented on my sluggish lymph. I know, I know, I know !!!!! Exercise !!!!! But I'm so very tired !! So I've tried to incorporate that again - Yes, I know I've said that before ! Perhaps this time I'll take it more seriously, after all I'm taking it seriously enough to give myself enemas and that's something I never ever considered - for half a century !!! As I say, too much information. But you never know who reads a blog and I know how frightening and appalling the idea of enemas and colonics was to me before all this happened. You lose your bashfulness when you get into some situations. It's a luxury you can't always afford, and it seems so silly looking back. ( If my daughter reads this she'll be mortified. Sorry ! ) But hopefully the enemas and the exercise will get my lymph going again.

I've also started taking Artemix. This is a capsule that contains artesunate, artemether, and artemisinin, all derivatives of the wormwood plant. It is used in the treatment of malaria, and experiments in laboratories show it to have an effect on some cancer cells. It's to do with the fact that cancer cells amass lots of iron ( It's essential for cell division and isn't that what cancer cells are all about. ) Artemisinin comes into contact with iron in the cell and the iron converts the drug into a toxic chemical, releasing an oxygen based free radical. This could destroy the cancer cell. I'm not saying that this is true , but I had a chemosensitivity test done when I finished my chemotherapy to find what alternative therapies might be harmful to my particular cancer cells and artesunate was flagged up as being of possible use to me. I never did anything about it because you can't just pop down to the chemist for it, but I recently read a book which clearly explained why it is effective against cancer and I think it is worth my while trying. The book I read which makes interesting reading if you have or fear breast cancer is called 'Breast Cancer A Cure At Last ' by Fred Harding. Quite a sensational title I think, but it is certainly an interesting book. Wormwood is used in the treatment of parasites, and I don't believe the capsules will do me any harm, so I'm giving them a try. The dose is 1 - 2 capsules and I dowse each night to see what my unconscious and body feel is the right dose. Am I kidding myself ? I don't know, but I don't think I'm doing any harm. I also visualise the capsules as magic bullets, ripping holes in the cancer cells membrane. Fingers crossed. Certainly this stuff has been used in the treatment of malaria without any known adverse effects. I've asked my doctor about how long people take it for malaria, so I don't see it as something I'll take for the rest of my life. My complimentary doctor in Bristol has recommended and supplied it to me, so I am under some supervision though it doesn't sound as if that's necessary. I'm just going to try it and see.

So that's my update so far. Hopefully I'll get my thinking brain back for next time and I'll remember what I really wanted to post about.

Sprouting Seeds - part 2

I have had a little more experience sprouting seeds since I last posted about them and I'm here to update you. I've grown radish, broccoli, basil, sunflower seeds, alfalfa and fenugreek, wheatgrass and sunflower seeds, lentils, chickpeas and peas, aduki beans, and possibly others that don't spring to mind just at present.
The challenging ones were peas and sunflower seeds. The peas rotted before the little shoots appeared and the sunflower seeds were woody and horrible. However, I wasn't doing it right ! The sunflower seeds need to be left till the leaves emerge from the black seed casing and it is the leaves you eat. Do them !!! They are delicious and have a great texture and mouthfeel. They are firm and crunchy, and have substance. I'm now making sure I have them growing all the time. I love them. The peas don't work for me hydroponically, so I've transferred the tiny shoots to a seed tray of soil to await the little shoots. The sprouted peas with just a tiny shoot didn't taste anything special, so I think pea shoots are the way to go.
The basil seeds outgrew their fishroe type stage and were nice, but I'm not sure I'll grow them too often as they took a long time to develop.
I have had an update from Pat Reeves ( http://www.foodalive.org/ ) on the best grain for growing wheatgrass. I was looking on the internet to buy in bulk and came across a variety of grains. I asked Pat about which might have the most health benefits. I thought that spelt might have benefits as they have not been intensively bred and modified to increase yield in the same way as wheat and are more akin to their wild roots. Pat informed me that spelt is indeed a form of wheatgrass that she herself grows along with barley. So I'm going to order barley and spelt grains to grow into grass for juicing and I'll let you know if there's much difference in taste - well, if I can tell much difference. I haven't sprouted any grains to eat as grains yet. ( I have an irrational apprehension of sprouting things that are new to me ) and I'll let you know of any handy hints and tips I pick up as I experiment.
But try the sunflower seeds. The aduki beans were also nice, as were the chickpeas ( they didn't go slimey !! ), the lentils (they are a pretty pink once sprouted),, the radish (they are a very attractive purple),and the broccoli, the sandwich mix, the alfalfa and the spicy feugreek. There are plenty more to try and I will keep you posted.
If you have any favourites I haven't tried yet please let me know. I'm really enjoying my hydroponic gardening and have lots of little glass jars of seeds in the fridge. They seem to keep well, but I must admit the more I grow the more I eat. Are they addictive ? I am loving them, so maybe I'm finding it easier to hear my body these days. The seeds are packed full of good things for it. And in case you think it's just me and my altered taste buds, my husband really likes them too. It's my turn to make tea at my gardening class this week and I'm even considering bringing some in for everyone. I'm in real danger of becoming evangelical about this and turning into a bit of a nut. Ah well, I'll just see if anythings ready for harvesting on Monday and is still in the trays. Watch this space !

Breast Cancer Haven at Leeds

I have been a hostage to fear recently. I don't know exactly why - a few reasons I expect, but there it is. I'm sure it's normal and just part of life. It just requires some management. To that end I had a brainwave. I've been to The Haven at Leeds before for an introductory day and a days retreat, and to see one of the counsellor's. It struck me that maybe I could do with another of the day retreats. It was the best thing I could have done. I had a fantastic day. The emphasis was on positive energy and thoughts. We did relaxations, visualisations, breathing, and we connected. I came away refreshed and remotivated.

It's easy to question if it's worth all the effort when the rest of the world just goes on as per normal. (I've been watching television with my family recently and there's loads of adverts which seem to be mostly about food. What is that about !?! Cereal, cheese, butter, chocolate, pasta, burgers, etc. It's very irritating when you're relaxing and then get bombarded with forbidden foods in the privacy and assumed safety of your own living room.) It is time consuming keeping body and soul together. Juicing takes the best part of an hour. Then there's tending to my sprouting seeds, exercise, deep breathing and meditation, shopping for healthy food, connecting with friends, gardening and getting some sunshine and fresh air while the sun's out. I don't do enema's and only have colonics every few months because they are too time consuming, but there's foot detoxes when I remember. It's nice to sit for half an hour with my feet in a bucket, and I definitely can't do anything else at the same time, but it still takes time. It's consequently only natural, I think,, to question whether it's worth all the effort. Yesterday I felt I got the confirmation and motivation I needed. Anne, who leads the retreat, did a great job of reminding me of the mind body connection and of its impact on health. And she reminded me to be kind and forgiving and accepting of myself. I think the words she repeated as we were all tapping our chests using E.F.T. techniques were "I love and accept myself ". I wish she had a CD to listen to because my memory is so bad and I couldn't scribble notes and make the most of the moment both at the same time. She did a fantastic healing visualisation where I saw a tree, then I think I turned into the tree, and finally I think I was a waterlily. I'll admit I think I drifted out of consciousness once or twice ( please God, I hope I didn't snore !!) so I can't remember everything clearly, but it was a wonderful relaxing day. Oh, and we did a fantastic pink light meditation. If only I could remember it clearly. Anne reminded me that there is a strong connection between the mind and the body and told me of two books that I might be interested in. One is by Masuro Imoto and is about water crystals and how they may be affected by kind thoughts, words, and music. We did a little experiment and I'm sure I could tell a slight difference in mouth feel of one that had been meditated over and one that hadn't. Anne did the meditating, and is a healer herself. The second book is about the link between emotions and genes and is called 'The Genie in our Genes' by Dawson Church. I looked on Amazon and in a review it was claimed to be a good book to read after The Biology of Belief by Bruce H. Lipton. I read this book and it was very interesting reading and resonated with me, so Church's book is now on my wish list at Amazon. ( It's all about persuading myself that my body CAN heal itself after being told that medicine can only do so much. ) Anne also told our group about her own meditative practice which is the Ishayas Ascension. I've looked on the internet at http://www.thebrightpath.com/ and it seems quite interesting. I'll give them a call and see about learning to ascend. If it comes to anything I'll post about it and let you know. We had a nice lunch of bean salad with rice and there was walnut shortbread for dessert. I don't normally eat biscuits and sweet things anymore, but I'm tired of depriving myself so I had the shortbread and It was really nice. Not too sweet., so I suppose the damage was minimal, and it was nice to be normal for a little while. At least I won't be getting cravings for shortbread now as I've satisfied it already.

All in all it was a day I feel I've really benefited from. But unfortunately The Haven is suffering in the current economic recession and is having difficulty with funding and the retreats have been stopped from next week. It's a real pity as I think everyone on it will have gained from the experience. We were all very mellow at the end of the day. I only booked on it on Tuesday as there was just one place left. I'd originally had hopes of booking in for a May day, but I think divine providence was on my side with that one place available before the retreats finished. I'm truly grateful for a days peace and I'm still very mellow and optimistic today. Long may its benefits last.

Incidentally, if you want to have a look at the website of The Breast Cancer Haven it's here :-
http://www.breastcancerhaven.org.uk/

WHERE IT BEGAN

Being diagnosed with cancer was a terrifying experience. And living with cancer is also very frightening. Sometimes I peacefully coexist with it and at other times I twist and wriggle like a fish on a hook trying to get free of it. Sometimes there's space in my body for cancer, and sometimes, when fear fills every spare space, cancer cramps me and is noticeably uncomfortable. There's not really space for the two of us. Yes, I know cancer is me - my own cells - a part of me ; But sometimes it's a glowering menace residing in spaces inside of me where I don't recall inviting it. At the moment it's a Green Gremlin, a Grey Ghost, a Mauve Maverick who's cramping my style and dogging my days. It's my albatross and my millstone which I drag around with me from the moment I wake. I've found various coping strategies, but I can't seem to land on one that soothes me to the point of anaesthesia at the moment. So I'm going back to my beginnings of this journey. perhaps if I refocus I can get the threat down to a manageable level again. ( There is no apparent reason for this crisis of confidence in my ability to 'manage' my cancer. Just that I'm ravenously hungry all the time, I'm gaining weight - and in my research I've read that fat cells = oestrogen which in my case = cancer. I'm still not juicing quite as regularly as I was - which in my mind = acidity = hospitable conditions for cancer. And it's about 3 months since my last scan, and so another one is about due, and scans always bring on a case of the Screaming Ab Dab's)

When I was first diagnosed the whole family were obviously affected by it, and powerless to do anything. In an effort to reassure my daughter I drew up a list of what I was doing that would change my body so that cancer wouldn't exist. My thinking was that if I changed my body's chemistry, then cancer would be unable to thrive. The list not only reassured my daughter, but it reassured me. That list, to the best of my recollection follows. It was longer at the time, but I think that some of the things I changed have become so second nature that I can no longer recall doing things differently, and my memory is not as sound as it once was. I've included some explanations off why I did what I did, but I may be mistaken in some of my thinking, and I can't always recall detail as well as I would like. Please don't take this as a list of what you should do. It is what I have done and it helped me, and rethinking it will help me now. If it doesn't gel with you, let it go. There is no definitive set of instructions for coping with cancer and I'm most definitely not setting this out with that in mind. It's simply a record of what I personally found useful. It's a long list because I wanted to stress to myself how much I had changed from the person I was who grew cancer. I'm no longer that woman, and perhaps cancer won't be so happy with the woman I have become and am growing into. Lets face it, its all about managing cancer and managing uncertainty. I'm sure anyone reading this would be able to come up with their own list. It may take time and you may have forgotten ( fear affects the brain as does chemo !!) but I'd like to think you might find as much heart and comfort and courage from it as I have.









The list has become too long to give a brief description to all the things I've done in one posting. I'll make a start, but post about more in the next few days.

What I did and what I changed :

1. No Dairy. I gave up anything that came from a cow. Prior to diagnosis I had read a book by Prof. Jane Plant called "Your Life In Your Hands". In this book a woman who herself developed cancer researched what might make a difference. She looked at world demographics and noticed that women in some cultures did not develop breast cancer to anything like the degree that we in the West do. She found a clear link to the consumption of dairy products. She eliminated dairy from her diet and is still here to tell the tale. ( She is still thriving and has a website at http://www.janeplant.com/ . )She is also quoted on many other cancer sites. The thinking in a nutshell as I understand it is that there are growth hormones in milk. There are also all the drugs and chemicals that we feed the cattle which get passed out through the milk, not to mention nasty things which I don't want to disgust you with. There is also a high level of protein in milk. This makes the body more acidic, and far from being a great source of calcium actually robs the body of calcium. I have read elsewhere, though I can't recall the source, that the calcium in milk is difficult for the body to absorb. As a consequence of this, dairy products - milk, butter, cheese, fromage frais, cream, yogurt, and anything containing these such as pastries, cake, biscuits, bread rolls and soft and sweet breads ( They contain butter and milk or milk powder ), pate, ice cream, most chocolate, some creamy salad dressings, soups, in short most processed foods ( dairy seems to be some sort of cheap filler once you start seeing what it's put into ! ) Dairy was the first thing I gave up, and I have stuck with this consistently. I read another book last summer by T.Colin Campbell called 'The China Study ' which confirms the findings of Jane Plant. Mr. Campbell also looked at global demographics and came to the same conclusions as Jane Plant, but he went further and did laboratory experiments. In fact he oversaw a great many experiments in the lab and found conclusive evidence that animal protein stimulates the growth of cancer cells. ( His website is found at http://www.tcolincampbell.org/ )








2. No Tea, Coffee, Soft Drinks. I knew from reading magazines and newspapers that caffeine was linked to an increased risk of getting breast cancer, so gave up tea also. I drank more water and herb teas ; chamomile, peppermint, etc. Soda pop is high in caffeine ( even caffeine free has some caffeine ) and seems to be a cocktail of chemicals, so I steer clear of these also.
   
   






3. Surgery. I would have the cancer physically removed. As it turned out the cancer had spread to other parts, but the surgery still reduced the load.








4. Chemotherapy. I would remove any stray cells and kill whatever cancer was there to be killed. Again, whilst the cancer had spread, the tumours present were markedly reduced in size.








5. Continued Medication. I would and continue to take Arimidex daily and Zoladex four weekly to suppress all oestrogen in my body. As my cancer is hungry for oestrogen I will starve it to death !!








6. Water Filtration. I filter all my drinking water when I am in the house and drink bottled water when out. Very occasionally I have tea (herbal or green ) when I'm out and I have no control over the quality of such water, but by and large my water is all filtered. I am currently rethinking the water filtration system I am using. I use a Britta Water Filter Jug and I think I can improve on this. Unfortunately the filter I'm considering is quite expensive, and it's very difficult to compare filter systems. I'll keep you posted, though I'm leaning to a water remineraliser which is akin to reverse osmosis filtration but I think a step further. I believe ( but couldn't swear to) that the remineralised water would be more alkaline. The advantage of reverse osmosis or the remineraliser is that it filtes out oestrogens in the water supply ( from women taking the pill I've heard !!).








7. Rest and Sleep. The body heals itself when we sleep. This we've all been told since childhood and it still holds true today, except now we have scientific proof and explanation. I did a lot of sleeping in the early days, and continue to rest when I need to now. I don't push myself too hard as I can't cope with the effects of exhaustion. When the body sleeps (in the dark )melatonin is created which is necessary for a strong immune system. I slept for England !! When we nap or meditate through the day the body is still healing. Adrenaline compromises the immune system as I understand it because new Killer cells aren't created whilst there is insulin shooting around the body. I believe it's to do with the fight or flight response - the insulin gives you the wherewithal to run away or stand your ground and fight. All the bodies energy goes into immediate survival. It's only afterwards when the insulin's gone and we rest that the body goes into maintenance and damage control mode. So after the stresses of the diagnosis it's not a bad thing to conserve your energy and rest and let the body get on with healing. I think that I'm enhancing my immune system when I rest. It's also important during chemo as all the rapidly dividing cells in the body are targetted and destroyed. Resting and sleep gives the body chance to recreate healthy cells.








8. No Plastics, and particularly no oil in plastic. Plastic is oil soluble. When it dissolves into plastic it leak's a pseudo-oestrogen. As my cancer is oestrogen sensitive - and many, though not all breast cancers are - I eliminate all oestrogens wherever possible. I was shocked when I learned that plastic is oil soluble - in my words it dissolves into fat, be that dairy fat in the form of milk or cheese, vegetable fat in the form of olive oil, etc. , or any kind of fat or oil. Look around any supermarket and you will notice that a great deal of the packaging is plastic. Do you want a salad ? plastic bags and bowls. Do you want milk ? plastic cartons. Coleslaw and hummus ? plastic containers. Water ? Again it's almost all plastic bottles ( have a look at the TED podcast on itunes and I think like me you'll have a strong reaction to the ecological ramifications also !) Everything seems to be wrapped in plastic. Advice is now being given not to store water in plastic bottles in the freezer. Water !!! So perhaps it's not just oil that absorbs the plastic chemicals. I steer well clear - as much as I can in a Plastic World ! Please don't knock yourself out over this though. I still use a plastic bowl in my food processor - I haven't found one with a glass bowl, and couldn't justify the expense of replacing it at the moment even if I did come upon a glass one. My seed sprouters are all plastic. My toothbrush is plastic.. My water filter has a plastic jug. We do live in a plastic world. The best you can do is simply reduce the burden on your body as best you can. There's a website that you can check out that identifies the different kinds of plastic by their code numbers - sometimes found on the bottom of vessels and bottles. It is at www.thegreenguide.com/buying-guide/plastic-containers The plastics that this site suggests avoiding are : Number 3 : pvc which stands for polyvinyl chloride and "contains softeners called pthalates that interfere with hormonal development, and its manufacture and incineration release dioxin, a potent carcinogen and hormone disruptor " Examples are meat wrap, cooking oil bottles, and plumbing pipes. Number 6 : ps which stands for polystyrene which "can leach styrene, a possible human carcinogen, into food " Examples are Styrofoam cups and clear plastic take-out containers. Number 7 : "the only plastic made with Bisphenol A ". It's used in baby bottles ( though it's no longer legal to manufacture or sell these in Canada I believe.), water cooler bottles and the epoxy linings in tin food cans ( You know that white lining in the can !) "Bisphenol A has been linked to a wide variety of problems such as heart disease and obesity."








9. No Underarm Antiperspirants. We excrete wastes through our skin and I think the lymph nodes and sweat glands under our arms are compromised when we use chemicals to stop this process. I have no scientific references for this. It just makes sense to me. I've had all the lymph nodes under my arm removed on one side and antiperspirant isn't coming anywhere near me. It's an emotional decision.








10. No Underwired Bra's. Firstly, having had a mastectomy, my choices in bra are limited to ones that will accommodate a prosthesis. Much as I would love to have a pretty underwired bra for aesthetic reasons, it's not on the cards for me, so the choice is largely made for me. There is, however, a logical reason or two for avoiding underwired bra's. Firstly there is a belief that the underwiring, in fact the band on ANY bra restricts the flow of lymph and consequently impedes the flow of toxins away from the breast area. Pools of toxins, acidic puddles, and cancer cells being ejected from the body can all get stuck and possibly lead to disease. I haven't found any really compelling evidence for this, but then I haven't really looked. I should think that if you looked at the demographics or the world spread of breast cancer, like the use of dairy, the wearing and non-wearing of a bra might bear a strong relationship to the incidence of breast cancer. However, as I have larger breasts, or a larger breast, and I live in the United Kingdom I really don't choose to go bra-less and have a lopsided droopy look when pert youth is worshipped. Vanity, I know, but you have to have some standards !! The other argument I've come across which relates specifically to underwired bra's is that if the wires are made of metal ( and many are not ) they can pick up on the electromagnetic fields and radio waves that abound in our skies, our homes and buildings, and our lives. I can't see these waves, or energies, but I do know that they exist. My t.v. and computer, and phone, and all my electrical devises pick up something that I cannot see, but which is clearly all around. The computer no longer needs hooking up to a modem, it's what they call wireless. This stuff impacts on our bodies. I haven't looked into it because I would be swamped and overwhelmed, but there is certainly some basis for concern if you already have breast cancer or are concerned about it in having wire over the sensitive area of your body all day long. I wouldn't choose to live near an electricity pylon, or near a phone mast either, though increasingly you have no say in where these things pop up, and electricity is being dug under ground where it's cost effective, so there's no physical evidence. It's a minefield I haven't explored and don't feel up to at present. Even the ground beneath our feet has electromagnetic fields that we are consciously unaware of, though birds seem more sensitive to it, and our ancestors, too, seemed more aware or ley lines, etc. It's not something I can speak knowledgeably about such things. ( I've just received an e news update from Chris Woolams at http://www.canceractive.com/ and there's an article about Eileen O'Connor and the Obama team wanting to meet her. She is very knowledgeable about phone masts and their impact on our health. Go have a look. )








11. Green Tea. Some time into my chemotherapy experience I chanced on a book about superfoods called "Superfoods HealthStyle" by Steven Pratt and Kathy Matthews. In it there is a section on green tea, and an interesting little paragraph about it's benefits during chemotherapy. I'll quote it here so that if anyone chances upon this they can make up their own mind on its usefulness to them. I don't take much green tea now, because of its caffeine content, but I drank a cup every morning whilst on chemo after reading this. However, this was my own self-medicating ! There are no guidelines that I could find that give a recommended number of cups to drink. I also don't know if it works the same way with all chemo agents. At the end of the day i just did what felt right to me. I have a friend who dowses and uses a pendulum to ask her body what it needs and what is in its best interests. Given my time over I might now use that as a way to decide the right "dose". However, I drank LOTS of tea before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, so it's not a cure-all, and I consequently drink very little green tea now. It's possible that the milk which I always took with my tea bound up the good compounds and made it difficult for my body to absorb the healthy factors. I'll never know. I just used the tea along with visualisation and the knowledge that it could make the chemo more effective whilst I was having chemotherapy.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    "in the U.S. the Chemoprevention Branch of the National Cancer Institute has developed a project that will test compounds found in tea to study their cancer prevention abilities in human subjects. Interestingly, tea seems to help prevent cancer in a variety of ways. It's antioxidant ability has perhaps been most widely studied, but it also inhibits bloodflow to cancer cells, thus starving them. Green tea seems to be able to shut off the growth-promoting genes in cancerous cells, thus encouraging the cancer cells to self-destruct. Tea also helps neutralize the cancer-promoting properties of certain environmental toxins. One study showed that the polyphenols in green tea actually boosted the effectiveness of one of the most common cancer drugs - doxorubicin - by causing the cancer cells to retain the drug rather than repel it. " (pg 208 published 2006. )








12. No Stress How can you have no stress when you've been diagnosed with stage iv breast cancer ? You can't. But I did take a different view of life and its irritations. Cancer gives a sense of proportion and perspective to things if it does nothing else. The state of the world no longer irritated and worried me when I thought I wouldn't be around to see the outcome. Al Gore brought out his film on climate warming and the imminent destruction of the world as we know it, but I was just an interested observer. I was concerned for what my family might have to go through, but I was distanced from it. It was too big for me to do anything about, and pointless to worry about. I found I had this attitude towards most things. I think cancer has educated me into handling stress and worry better. That doesn't mean I go around in a cloud of sparkly light with a beautific smile on my face all the time. There's always challenges, but I think I have more distance more of the time these days. I can observe more often and not get quite so embroiled in the details. Most of the time. Not by any stretch always. But I do think that once you've faced your own mortality and really looked it in the face there's less to be fearful of.








13. No Processed Foods. There''s so many chemicals, fats, sugars, salts, and toxins, and so few nutrients in processed foods that there's much better things you can putt in your body, particularly if you haven't much appetite. However, I really miss the convenience of these foods, and the supermarket is full of them ! And as there's so much advertising of these products in the media I'm constantly reminded of what I'm missing. I do wish there'd be a ban on advertising these foods as there is on advertising cigarettes and alcohol.








14. Deep Breathing. I used deep breathing as a way to relax and control my terror, and I used it to help me fall asleep. The bodies nervous system is triggered to relax if you breath deeply. It's an automatic response. When we're tense we breath in a shallow manner and more rapidly; breathing slowly and deeply triggers the relaxation response. We also detox through our lungs, so by emptying our lungs of stale air and refilling with fresh we are getting rid of poisons in our bodies. It's also easier to practise visualisation in this relaxed slowed down state. Picture breathing in bright healing light and breathing out the dark stuff. Deep Breathing also puts the body into an alkaline state which is where we want it to be. Cancer lives in acidity. ( It creates its own little acid pool from its own waste ! Yuck!! Inside my body ! Double Yuck !! )








15. No Alcohol.








16. No Salt.








17. No Sugar.








18. No Fat.








19. Vitamin C.








20. Supplements








21. Enzymes








22. Spiritual Healing.








23. Connection - Support Groups








24. Gardening - Support and Connection, Vitamin D, Communing with Nature and the Universe, Seasonality and the Circle of Life








25. Fun and Laughter








26. Funny Movies, CD's, Podcasts, Books, TV and Radio Programmes








27. Exercise








28. Skin Brushing and DeToxing








29. Colonic Irrigation








30. Antiparasitics - tea, milk thistle








31. Essiac Tea








32. The Great Outdoors and The Universal Everything. Spirituality








33. Concentrate on the Immune System








34. Raw Food








35. Juicing








36. Ceremony : Tea , Juicing








37. Music for the Soul








38. Water








39. Research in books and on the internet - staying up to date and motivated








40. No Toothpaste with Fluoride








41. skin care products








42. Sprouted Seeds








43. Fermented Foods








44. Heat








45. Oxygen and Breathing








46. A Sparkly Watch To Remind Me That The Time Is Now and It's Brilliant !!








47. If Not Now When and Life's Worth it - Nothing Tastes as Good as Life. A Change in Outlook.








48. Stay Interested. You're Either Learning and Open or Frightened and Closed.








49. Journaling








50. Art








51. Growing Food and Living Foods








52. Cooking








53. Avoid Negative Energy - people, situations, books, media, etc.








54. Enjoying the Seasons. It's Spring. Lets fill the house with sweetly scented flowers. How many more do you think you'll see ? Savour the moment and its gifts.

Chris Woolams and CANCERactive

Go have a look at CANCERactive and the article on "EU bans Natural Vitamins"

the link is http://www.canceractive.com/page.php?n=2159

it makes interesting reading !!

My own healing retreat

As I've been finding it harder and harder to stay on the straight and narrow of creating optimum health in my body I've devised a plan to get on track once more. I'm calling it my healing retreat. I'm using the word retreat, although I have no intention of retreating from the world and my life. It's just a word that reminds me that I'm doing this for me. The family do not have to follow, and it is important enough to me that I give it this description. You can spend a fortune going away on a retreat, but I intend to save the money for something else, but treat this as seriously as I would if I had relocated and paid for it. The biggest difference I think is that if I went to a spa there would be someone else devising a timetable, a menu plan, and cooking the meals and cleaning up, and I would have company and someone else to motivate me. I've taken the more frugal route, but unlike being a hermit or a monk that goes alone into the mountains, I will be still in my home environment.So I'm going to be kind to myself.

• Day 1 Sunday
• Essiac tea
• checked water level and seeds in sprouter. (It uses a lot of water !!)
• Feed birds
• Anti-parasitic tea (pukka tea - revitalise ( cinnamon, cardamom and ginger ) and cloves in a tea pot. Using a pretty cup and saucer )
• Porridge - oats, linseeds,pumpkin and sunflower seeds,apricot kernels, pear.
• Arimidex
• Vitamin C
• Enzymes
• lunch of vegetable burger and salad
• supper of boiled brown basmati rice and vegetables, and a few prawns.
• Vitamin C throughout the day.
• My husband and I went for a walk around the Ripley Castle gardens and dear park. It was a beautiful sunny day, very warm and clear, and the park wasn't busy at all. The Hyacinths smelled wonderful. We walked round the vegetable garden, but there wasn't much to see yet. It was just a really lovely peaceful day.
• Day 2 Monday
• Essiac tea
• check seed sprouter
• Porridge as before
• Arimidex
• Juice of carrot, spinach and beetroot ( 1 Ltr )
• lunch of hummus, salad, olive and sweet chilli jam on brown bread. ( Possibly the best sandwich in the world !)
• supper of boiled brown basmati rice and vegetables and salad.
• I spent the day at Harlow Carr, gardening. It was a fantastic day, spent in the polytunnel. I LOVE the polytunnel, and could live in there !! We planted seeds, divided plants and potted on seedlings. I don't know what it is about this propagation, but I really get something out of it. Perhaps it's the nurturing element, or the godlike ability to create life, or just my awe at the life force contained within the plants. Whatever it is, it feeds my soul. My friend Jenny was incredibly generous and brought in some seeds for me that she had spare. I'd expressed a desire to plant a cutting garden - so that I can have flowers for the house all year- and Jenny really came up trumps. She went on a Sarah Raven course last year and has enthused about it and she's infected me with the bug ! I'm devoting Wednesday in my own garden to sowing more seeds ! I have a book on gardening by the moon and Wednesday ( Today as I write this ) is a good day to plant flowers.
• Day 3 Tuesday
• Essiac
• check seed sprouter
• Arimidex
• Vitamin C
• 1 Banana
• lunch of a salad sandwich ( lettuce, tomato, and cucumber in brown bread ) and vegetable tempura ( a sinful treat !!! from the Kings Head hotel at Richmond )
• supper of Mexican bean pate from Waitrose and salad.
• I spent the day mooching around the charity shops in Richmond. The car had to go in for a service and I usually just go down to the town to wait for it. (I use the Richmond garage because it's a Subaru and there aren't that many garages to choose from. And Paul is always nice to me there !) It's a pleasant day out. I have tea and sit in a comfy armchair or couch at The Kings Head and drink tea, and sometimes eavesdrop on others conversations, or just read a book or journal. There's no rushing and it's just a nice place to wait for the car. Yesterday I looked around the charity shops first. Fatal !!! I bought 3 books. ....3 !!! ...How did that happen ? One was on baking bread !! Baking bread ?!?! I'm trying to give up bread !!! Oh well, the body's willing but the mind is week it seems and not the other way around. The other two books were great finds. ( I would think that wouldn't I. I just love books !) One was The RHS book on Propagating Plants, a sumptuous book that has all you could need and more on how to create more plants. The second book was by Gay Search and is called The Healing Garden. Gardening for the mind, body and soul. Isn't that a title to mull over ? I had a little read of it over lunch and it seems an interesting book. I just have to find time to read them now !
• Day 4 Wednesday
• Today's only just begun. I've had tea, arimidex, and checked the sprouter, and I've blogged. Now I'm off to juice, make breakfast, and then I'm into the garden to feed my soul and hopefully get a bit of fresh air and sunshine. Will update in a few days time.

Eating and Loving Life

I am in danger of stressing myself over what I've stopped doing and eating. I've recently been eating things I shouldn't ( I had coleslaw and potato salad the other day, both made with mayonnaise ( FAT ! Processed ! ) And I've had a box ( 3 Bars ) of Green & Black's organic nut and seed cereal bars in a week ! I also had a little bottle of red wine at the weekend (OK , I confess, 1 and 1/2 in total- over 2 days. ) I know I eat better than a lot of people judging by what the supermarkets stock, but it doesn't stop me worrying. Most people don't have cancer living in their body. Perhaps I should alter that image. I'm hoping it's NOT LIVING, just taking up a little space, and perhaps dissolving away as we speak. But a lot of the things that I was doing to support my immune system and give me a feeling of fighting it with some tools have been lost over the last few months. They are my supports - things like taking supplements, juicing deep breathing, meditating, praying, etc. I think the anxiety just makes things worse. I've been seeing a counsellor at The Haven, and she's suggested that I need to be a good girl, and that it's possible that I'm doing all these things to be a good girl. Maybe there is an element of that, and I certainly don't feel I'm being adequately rewarded for that. (Total remission would be adequate reward .) But the real point of what I'm doing is to stay alive !!!! A lot of the health care professionals seem to miss this point. Are they uncomfortable with my twistings and pullings trying to get off the hook ? Anyway, I emailed Daria about not sweating what she eats and it struck me I should be talking to myself. So listen to yourself, Jill .

Do not beat yourself up over what you are or aren't doing at the moment. There's more going on in your body than you think. I have read 2 books that both suggest that the mind controls the body in ways that we don't yet understand and that the medical profession are slow to take on board. One was by Bernie Siegel. I can't just at this second remember if it was 'Peace Love and Healing ' or 'Love, Medicine and Miracles'.and the other was by Carl Simonton called 'Get Well Again'. Another I read just this summer was written by Bruce H. Lipton called 'The Biology of Belief''. These books all suggest that our brains can override whatever we put in our bodies. So you can eat a healthy diet, but if you are stressed and unhappy you won't necessarily get the benefit. And you can eat rubbish but if you're happy and relaxed the body will still be healthy. We have a place called The Haven Breast Cancer Centre nearby and one of the professionals there told us about a laboratory using rabbits. Some rabbits were noticed to be in better health than the others and investigations were made to see why this should be. All were given exactly the same living conditions. It turned out that the rabbits that were doing so well were cared for by one technician. When asked how she fed the rabbits she replied that she fed them the way everybody feeds rabbits. She picked them up, gave them a stroke and a cuddle, and then put them down and fed them. Needless to say the other technicians didn't realise this cuddling was part of the feeding process and simply put the food down for them. Clearly there was something in the handling of the rabbits and the care expressed that had a beneficial effect on the rabbits over and above just the nutrition contained in the food. My memory has lost some of the detail of this story, but I think you get the message. So what I'd say is don't get too hung up on what you can or can't eat, and should or shouldn't do. It's not the whole picture. These books and one called 'Molecules of Emotion' by Candice Pert (which I haven't myself read.) all suggest that our mental outlook also contributes greatly to our health. So if you're not eating the most healthful diet (because of chemo or any circumstance for that matter) concentrate on its positives - because it's convenient, or it's what you can get down, or you'd feel punished harshly if you didn't have it. We are all aiming to eat better, but I have on more than one occasion overwhelmed myself and slid back many steps only to have to pick myself up and start climbing again. It's much easier to take slow, small steps and not slide back again. I myself get quite down when I'm overwhelmed and know only too well what a dangerous place that can be. Depression is to be avoided and is a difficult place to climb out of.


Bernie Siegels books are very kind and uplifting and encouraging and his meditation Cd is very relaxing and soothing. I also have the books and Cd's from Carl Simonton who runs his own Simonton Centre. They are very encouraging and strongly suggest visualisations to kick your bodies immune system into gear. I have started listening to them again at night before I go to sleep.