Well, it's April tomorrow and I just don't know where the time's gone. What I do know is that I'm in a slightly better place than I was a fortnight ago when my father-in-law was living with us. I still have a teenage daughter who is challenging to say the least, but at least my house is my own again and I can start to breathe and think. To that end I've been trying to sort out my kitchen. I'm a hoarder by nature. Must be something to do with my impoverished, migratory childhood, or then again maybe not. Anyway, I finally emptied my SUGAR cupboard. Yes, I had a cupboard devoted to all things sweet :- golden icing sugar, honey, brown sugars of every stripe, jam,, maple syrup, golden granulated sugar stored in a jar of its own with vanilla beans , icing accoutrement's. What's left is now stored in a plastic tupperware box. I know. But I don't live alone threw most of it away and in fact most of it hadn't been touched in more than 3 years. What a waste of space ! So that freed up a cupboard to use as I wished. I downloaded an ebook ( I am getting more adventurous on the Internet ! ) on eating for 5 days in a low glycaemic way. It included a menu plan, a concise ebook on the reasons to eat with an eye on the glycaemic index, and a shopping list, and a support network on twitter for a 5 day challenge. I didn't get my act together in time sadly- perhaps next time - but I did do the shopping, and I used the cupboard to store all the dry goods I needed. It gave me one cupboard to go to and made it feel more organised, special and fun, and certainly simpler. This cupboard is now my designated healthy eating challenge cupboard, and the sweet stuff left for the family is relegated to a dark, awkward and unused corner of a floor height cupboard.





The 5 day low GI challenge was a great idea and I have been working my way through the recipes. So far they have been terrific, and will become part of my regular repertoire. if you are interested in this challenge it will be run again. Go have a look at it at :-


http://meghantelpnerblog.com/ /




Meghan writes a TERRIFIC blog called Making Love in the Kitchen. She is incredibly generous with her recipes and every time I look at her blog it's like the sun comes out. I have never met her, and unless she fancies a holiday in North Yorkshire or I go over to Canada I have no expectation of ever meeting her, but she comes across as a person who you'd like to have as a friend. Her blog is friendly, warm, very positive, and very generous. I also greatly respect the information she gives. I trust her blog totally. I downloaded all her ebooks and they more than live up to expectations and are incredibly reasonably priced. She is releasing one tomorrow on superfoods, together with a challenge and I'm hoping I'm up for it.





The school's break up tomorrow and I was determined to start blogging again, so that's me for today. The utility room needs a bit of a sort out and is calling to me. I spent some time looking at other people's blogs again today. I think I'll just have to ration myself in future. The problem is that I want to catch up. I haven't really been on the internet in months - since last summer really - and I'm being distracted by all the great blogs and sites out in the blue yonder ! But do take a peek at Meghan Telpner's if you get chance. It's worth it.

Sunday morning

I had a lovely day yesterday. I had bruchetta and salad for breakfast. We went out for lunch and a walk and sat by the river watching ducks at our favourite cafe. I had a warm vegan salad and a pot of chamomile tea , and felt like I was on holiday. The sun shone brightly and warmly and we sat outside eating our lunch and watching the ducks and people. We had a very short stroll because we foolishly ate first. I can''t seem to get much energy up after eating. I had a nap in afternoon, and had bruchetta and salad for supper. We watched dancing for sports aide on tv, and I had an early night.





This morning I've had porridge with seeds and nuts and apricot kernels and feel like having another nap. I think I will try to remember to take some digestive enzymes before I eat and see if that helps at all. I watched some inspirational videos on YouTube yesterday featuring Neal Barnard and T Colin Campbell and I'm feeling a little more optimistic today. We've also got the house to ourselves for the first time in 17 weeks and that's making a terrific difference to how I feel in the place. I can breathe a little easier. I have a bit of space to think.

Just another day

Things aren't going so well. I've been very erratic with the juicing and my emotions are at a low ebb. Food wise, I have good and bad days. I've started eating processed foods - for convenience and comfort - and I've been having alcohol and sugary cereal. It's really bad, but I can't seem to get a grip on myself. I bought a Vitamix for my birthday a fortnight ago and I still haven't taken it out of the box. And I've not finished the book I was reading yet. After 17 weeks I've finally managed to move heaven and earth to give us a break from grandad, but it's all backfired on me. My daughter thinks we're millionaires and the hotel of choice that we were going to stay in for her birthday does not meet with her approval. We had a big emotional scene last night , and I just can't take the drama. My husband took grandad back up to Scotland to stay with hiss friend and there were problems with that - the overnight catheter bags didn't arrive at the dispensary in time and we'll have to courier them up to him. I ordered bags from his local pharmacy in Scotland, but there's no guarantee that they'll be there by tomorrow either. This is really because they weren't ordered till the last minute. Husband delivered him and is now very worried about the steep steps he has to use to get to his bedroom. So He's tense. I also told him about the diva moment and he's angry about this and angry with me. I told my daughter I wouldn't book anything and he's booked the time off work. It's a mess. I just want to step out of my life. But there's no way to do that. Someone would be left with a huge mess to clean up. So this morning I'm tippy toeing around on eggshells. Beam me up, Scotty !!!

STARTING OVER

It's been a very long time since I last posted. The reason being that I got myself into a dark place,. I also have a teenage daughter who knows of this blog. and as a consequence I censored myself. This blog is an honest account of what I am going through and learning. I just can't write and censor my thoughts at the same time. But I feel a strong urge to start again. I have fallen into old rutted habits and I'm needing help in pulling myself together and sorting myself out again. There have been many pressures since I last wrote. Whilst my scan results remain the same, the anxiety never goes away. My daughter who is 16 in a fortnight is a typical teenager, and we have our moments as do all parents and teenagers. And my father - in - law who has just turned 92 came to convalesce with us in November after a hernia operatiion, and has now taken up permanent residence with us. He has prostate cancer and the numbers have been rising recently and we haven't been helped by his G.P. telling us that he didn't expect him to make it to Christmas. He is now stronger physically than he was before the operation. But sadly his mind has started to fail him. His memory is erratic and he does get confused. This is a trial and a tribulation for us all.





So this is the start of a new offensive. I am in the fight again. I can't say for how long. My emotions are out of control quite a bit at the moment. But I can try and take control of how I care for my body again.





I have made juice over the past week. Yes, I stopped. What can I say. I know I'm an acidic mess. So I'm starting from scratch again. Baby steps !! Juicing is a baby step. I start with a bag of carrots and a bag of salad leaves - I know they're washed in chemicals,, but it's better than nothing, and it's convenient. As I said, I take a bag of salad leaves and a bag of carrots. I push them through the juicer and decant into small green bottles. Then I have juice for the day. I added kale the other day, and a courgette yesterday. I haven't made today's yet. I'm drnking a detox tea at present. But I'll make it just as soon as the electrician comes and goes. I'm expectiing him in about 10 minutes - not enough time to juice.





Today I only have the electrician to cope with. After he leaves I intend to reread Pat Reeve's book " A Living Miracle - fight cancer at its cellular level and win ! ". Pat is fighting cancer herself and has done so successfully for 30 years or more. I have forgotten so much that I read when I was looking for a miracle, and I've decided to start reading again to encourage and remotivate myself. Pat's book was very helpful to me when I first read it, and I went to see her on the strength of it. Pat's book has the best explanation off what cancer is that I have read. There's a lot of references linking cancer to fungus, parasites, yeast, and I can't remember what else. I got very very confused by the conflicting theories. Pat's is the only book I read that pulled it all together and made it all very clear and understandable. There's also plenty of healthy recipes in the book, and many help with osteoporosis. I have osteopenia and it's getting worse. I intend to take Pat's advice to heart and start to rebuild my health again. I hope to report back on what I find and then move on to other books which I found helpful in the past. if you'd like to go to Pat's website it's :-





http://www.foodalive.org/





Pat is a dynamo, full of energy and glowing like a little star ! She is fantastic and very supportive.